She Turned Me Into A Newt

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers
I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time
I get what
I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...
--George Carlin